The Shop Girl's Report- "I Work with Orcs"

Tonight this shop girl had a rare night off and went to see the local symphony orchestra perform the Lord of the Rings Symphony. It was during a number that featured men singing like Orcs that it dawned on me... I work with Orcs!

I should tell you a little about the store and the people I work with. We are a small United Nations and just about as fair and well organized -- which means not at all. Our store caters obsequiously to minorities, both as customers and employees. Don't get me wrong; I am all for equal rights. What I can't stand is Reverse Racism: the unequal right some employees get because of the color of their skin. But I digress...

Bart is my manager, a nice young guy. I like working for him although he avoids confrontation so much that he won't take control of the department. Margie is an older black woman who works part time who is absolutely wonderful - by far the best worker there (including me). Mr. B is an elderly Jewish man who knows more about men's clothing than I will ever know. He once owned his own store. He can be crusty, but we get along well. Carla is new -- too new to tell but her first impression has been good. So why am I complaining?

First there is John Boy, an 18-year-old full-time skinny white boy know-it-all who is a rude smart-aleck. He puts on a good show whenever a manager is around but spends the rest of the time drawing pictures and flirting with the girls (even though he just married a 17-year-old girl). Then there is Albert, John Boy's partner in crime, a full-time, rude, obese 23-year-old black guy who hustles whenever Bart is around, and spends the rest of his time out in the mall with his buddies or up in the break room eating or just sitting on the counter. John Boy and Albert keep girlie magazines in a drawer behind the counter. I think everyone knows, but no one does anything about it.

Stephanie, a pitiful, older white woman with bad emotional problems transferred to our department part-time. She should never have been hired in any job that involves working with people, even part-time. She yells at customers and at us whenever she is confused - which is most of the time.

We are about to loose two part-time workers. The first is Kitty, a middle-aged white woman who is on so much Prozak she moves in slow motion and has been known to stand for lengthy periods of time just staring down at a spot on the counter. But at least she is sweet. I kinda hate to see her go.

We are also losing Patel, a diminutive man from Bangladesh who against company policy gives all his Middle Eastern friends the employee discount, marks down items for his Asian buddies, takes multiple l-o-n-g breaks, and frequently leaves the floor to use his cell phone. If you report him, he will try to turn the tables on you by saying you are only trying to get him in trouble because you are prejudiced. Glad to see him go.

Last, there is Myrtle. An elegant looking black woman, Myrtle used to work here when we had a manager who didn't like me. Myrtle is able to leave the floor to go shopping whenever she wants because she is in with the managers. Not only that, but she learned to be disrespectful to me from our old manager. Now she is back as seasonal help and as spiteful as ever. I can't help it if some of these descriptions sound like stereotypes -- these are the people I work with. Like I said... I work with Orcs.

Or maybe it was just a bad weekend....

The Shop Girl's Report- "ChristianActivities.com"

I was talking to Darla the other day about men. A lot of shop girls are single and caught up in the dating rat race. Darla had met a cute shop boy at the Mattress Store. He came in our store several times to scope her out. She was excited when he asked her out but less than excited when he didn't call her the day of their date. She got all fixed up -- and Darla doesn't take much fixing up with her exotic cafe au lait coloring and lovely features. But when he did finally call it was to try to change the plans where he would no longer pick her up but meet her at a central location at a later time. His ardent pursuit had changed to a wishy-washy uncertainty. "Men!" I said and rolled my eyes. "Yeah," said Darla. "He was a total waste of hair spray."

It is especially hard for single Christian shop girls to meet nice men. Often, as in my case, working two jobs prevents me from being very active with a church, and I don't have any free time to socialize. When I do get a rare night off, I usually have to spend it catching up on chores. So, on the rare occasion I get a night off and decide to go out, it is vitally important I spend the night doing something "quality."

I have found websites like ChristianActivities.com to be very helpful in finding good events to attend, good music to listen to, and good articles to read.

Tonight our mall is letting all the little ones trick or treat in the stores dressed in their Halloween costumes. Shop girls who work nights may not usually get to go out and have fun... but sometimes the fun comes to us!